So Fresh and So Clean
When history assesses what impact we have made on oral hygiene, bactericidals or the overall picture of public health I hope they don’t look at MRSA or C-Diff or any of the other so called “super bugs” plaguing our communities. And I really hope they don’t look at the psychomotor skill of gargling.
THE ORIGINS
Contrary to what we may think, gargling isn’t some instinctual reflex deeply embedded into the reptilian brain, born from absolute necessity through the process of evolution in the ancient ages. It’s not as if the perpetuation of human existence hinged on the ability of the entire species to master the technique of gargling. Nope. I’m afraid it’s a product of one of the most effective, shame-based marketing efforts (there’s been some good ones) that people with expendable income have ever been subjected to. Gargling exists because mouthwash companies told us we needed to cleanse our gross, bacteria riddled mouths with a caustic chemical solution so that we might be freed of our repulsive, intimacy interrupting mouth emissions. They disgraced us to the point of agreeing to pour thymol into our mouths, tilt our heads back and proceed to rocket upwards into the echelons of asininity.
SMILES ARE UNIVERSAL
Thankfully, this proficiency has been contained primarily to developed countries. I recently heard a story about a person who, through an interpreter, was asked to gargle some fluid. This person grew up in a rural area in an underdeveloped nation. There was no word for gargle. There was no developed skill to default to in order to comply with this request. There were only escalating voices, confusion and an intensifying suspicion inside this person who was beginning to wonder if something that had been swallowed should not have been. Smiles may be universal. Gargling is not.
MEET U @ 4TH & BROADWAY
And finally, please don’t think I am on some crusade against superfluous hygiene practices. Gargle away, folks. Personally, I can’t wait for the Youtube video where a flash mob meets at a Gaslamp District intersection for some mass swishing and rinsing. Just don’t forget to clean up after yourselves.
