Turning The Green Light

For years I felt compelled to tell my friends never to hang out too close to the trashcan during parties. It’s a frequently visited place and eventually people might associate you with the refuse. Since then, I’ve tried to take notice of where people stand in a room during social situations, mainly parties. It doesn’t mean anything about people necessarily. There is really nothing to read into it. I had a friend point out this couple who were standing right above a vent on the floor. It was a really hot room. I guess it means they’re smart? So you see, analyzing this sort of observation is a waste of time. But, I’m gonna do it anyway.

In The Kitchen

This is certainly a comfort zone for some people and I don’t think it has anything necessarily to do with strategic placement near the fridge and it’s contents. Whatever it is, these people are STAYING in there. Have a harmless trip to the icebox in mind? Good luck negotiating your way through the mob. Stay out, unless you are a part of this club.

On the Couch

I like these people because they want to sit down and they don’t care about much past that. Tired feet or general unwillingness to mobilize take priority. Whoever they encounter will have to be by chance, or because somebody went out of their way to come find them on the couch. Admittedly, I’m jealous of these people because I can’t sit still long enough for this scene.

To Musical Instruments

Piano, guitar doesn’t matter. I’m a musician and even I’m annoyed by this. I’m moving on.

To a Computer

Guilty. Guilty a thousand times over. If it’s a sickness I’m in the infirmary and respectfully declining the antidote. I will go to the computer on rumor of something awesome, currently or soon to be appearing on its screen, and I will stay there until I get my turn to dial up some personal selections. Before long it becomes a contest on who can present superior content that no one has seen before. Because if there is just one person who is like, “yeah, I saw that already” then that little bit of cred you stood to gain is not happening. And you know you want it.

At the Door

This is a puzzling one. These are the first people you see at a party. You hope it’s someone you know so you can feel welcome upon your arrival but it seems like this is rarely the case. In fact it’s usually a bunch of people you’ve never seen in your life and they look at you like you’re in the wrong house. And for a second you believe you just might be.

To Games

These are the people who were going to one up all of your stories, top all of your jokes, and make conversation in general a competition anyway, so why not lump them all together and let them entertain each other. This is also a safe place for the social inept or unmotivated. If all you have in you is to sit and stare in silence at a table then this gives you a legitimate reason to do so.

Go Home

See you next time.